Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
by formerlyknownasone
Summary: That's right. That's what Oliver is suffering from. The twins are convinced that he needs psychiatric help, because his OCD isn't from Quidditch, but in the female form of Katie Bell... A KBOW oneshot R


Lol. Another attempt of a KBOW oneshot, and see how well you like this one.

I solemnly swear that the characters in this story, which are not mine, are not good.

Oliver didn't really know why he was here, in the Quidditch locker room.

Actually he did know why he was here, but he didn't_ understand_ why he was here. The Weasley twins had simply kidnapped him, use a Body- binding spell and practically drag him down to this place, before disappearing themselves.

Smooth, Fred, smooth.

He was sad to say, however that they returned five minutes later, carrying armful of unrecognisable, dangerous-looking objects, wearing _glasses_ no less.

"What, and I mean WHAT am I doing down here, and why did you guys bind me up? And, are those glasses?" He immediately shot at them, feeling very confused, angry and amused all at ojnce. This was what the twins do to you.

George (or so the tag on his robes stated) smiled at him patronisingly, adjusting those thick-framed glasses with what he thought was a professional air.

"Yes, those are glasses Oliver. They make us look professional don't they?"

Oliver seriously doubt that. Like idiots, more like it. But he wasn't going to argue with the people who place a full Body-binding spell. He stared at the various phials of colourful potions suspiciously, as Fred began to write on his clipboard.

"What is that? Or wait-- Do I really want to know?" He had too many run-ins with the twins, and learned by experience less questions , the better.

"Nope." they chorused.

He could hear the twin fiddling with the nasty looking metal box he asked about.

"Damn. The lie detector's not working. Forgot it doesn't work at Hogwarts."

"How about the Sneakoscope?"

" Won't work well, we are always lying..."

He saw Fred and George whispering conspiratorially and bustling around, before settling in front of Oliver.

"Okay, Oliver. We can start our session now."

"Session?"

Fred ignored him.

"I am Dr Fred Weasley, and this is Dr George Weasley. You may address us as Dr Weasley and Dr Weasley. We will be your psychiatrists for today. Would you prefer something more comfortable to sit on? "

And with a wave of his wand, Oliver found himself sitting on a plushy soft chair, and the spell in his body was removed.

Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

"WHAT? DR WEASLEYS? I DO NOT NEED PSYCHIATRIC HELP, MUCH LESS FROM YOU!"

With that, he made a mad dash away from the bespectacled Weasleys and opened the locker room door. Or tried to.

"That won't work. Neither does Alohomora either. You can't blast the door too, doesn't help. You better just sit down and get this over and done with, that's the only way it will open"

Oliver tried every charm he knew. None work. After a few minutes of desperate attempts to open the door, he was resigned to his fate. He let out a string of colourful words that made Fred go ' Tsk, tsk Wood. If only your mum could see you now.'

He stared at them.

"So all I have to do is answer your questions?"

"Exactly."

He sighed. "Fire away then."

Fred and George beamed at him, and he recoiled in fear. What did he get himself into?

"What is your favourite hobby?"

"Quidditch."

"Favourite event?"

"Quidditch finals."

"What do you want most?"

"Two Quidditch tickets to the World Cup, to be Puddlemere's Keeper, to receive Quidditch gloves and dinner with my favourite Quidditch player."

"Do you even think about anything besides Quidditch?"

"No." he lied

"Why are you so fixated with Quidditch?"

Oliver thought about this. He didn't really know why exactly, and was he really that hung up on it? Why on earth did he want have so many dawn practices? Why did he have so many Quidditch team meetings? One word came to his mind, but his pushed his thoughts away quickly.

"I am not!"

"Okay, let's put it another way. Is the reason why you are so obsessed with the sport anything to do with a certain someone?" George asked, his eyes having a maniac glint.

"A certain blond chaser?"

"To be more exact, a certain Katie Bell?"

Oliver felt himself bristle.

"NO!" he said hotly, hollering at the twins.

"Calm down Oliver! We were just asking! Here, have a drink of water to cool yourself down!"

Oliver glared at George, his face flushed. He gladly accepted the glass of clear water Fred offered him,and gulped it down.

"Hey, isn't that Katie's quill you are using?"

" Er, no?"

"Don't lie Fred. I recognised it. It's the one she likes to use when she does her exams. That's her lucky quill."

Fred only look at George, who nodded his head back, as if something just confirmed their suspicions.

" Okay, Mr Wood. We just reached a diagnose. We conclude, based on our personal interview just now, and five years of friendship-"

"That you suffer from two problems-"

"Your fondness in lying, which I have to say, was rather pitiful-"

"Hey! I do not-"

"And OCD." Fred finished.

"OCD?"

"As in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. And a severe case of it too."

Oliver stared at Fred and George. This was really, really getting out of hand.

" I SO DO NOT! JUST BECAUSE I'M REALLY FOND OF QUIDDITCH DOES NOT MEAN THAT I SUFFER FROM OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER!"

" Sorry, my mistake."

Oliver relaxed. Damn right it was a mistake!

"I should have elaborated. I mean you do have Obsessive-compulsive disorder, but in which you are fixated with Katie Bell. Not Quidditch."

"What? You must be mad!"

Fred and George smiled at him patronisingly again, patting him on the shoulder.

"It's all right, Oliver. Nothing to be ashamed of." Fred winked "Percy suffers from it too. You know, he's obsessed with being neat! There is nothing wrong with being fixated with Katie, especially when she is so hot."

"I am not!"

"Let's conduct a simple test then."

"Fine!"

"Favourite hobby?"

Oliver opened his mouth, and was prepared to say "Quidditch". But somehow it just won't come out of his mouth. He looked at his empty glass.

"This is not just water, is it?"

"Nope. Veritaserum spiked in it. Now answer. Favourite hobby?"

"Quidditch... Because I can stare at Katie."

" Favourite event?"

"The Finals, cos' either way Katie will kiss me if we win, or kiss me if we lose."

"And, the things you want most. Two Quidditch tickets to the World Cup, why two and not one? To go with Katie?"

"Yes." Oliver gritted his teeth. They were so going to die.

"To be Puddlemere's Keeper, To impress pretty Miss Bell?"

"Yes."

"To receive Quidditch gloves would make you happy... if only they were from one and only Katie?"

"Yes."

"And a dinner with your favourite Quidditch player...Hmmm? Could that be..."

"Katie Bell."

"Do you think of anything other than Quidditch?"

"Yes. I think of Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie and occasionally, Quidditch."

At here the twins let out loud gasps. This was ground-breaking news!

"Why are you so fixated with Quidditch?"

"Katie. The more Quidditch dawn practices, the more I see her. The more team meetings, the more I can stare at her. She loves Quidditch too, like me. Plus, it helps me forget my obsession on her."

It took Oliver two seconds to register what he just said. And then it hit him. Like a whack on the head.

"Oh damn it, you are right! I do have OCD!" he moaned.

"See, We told you," said Fred smugly.

Oliver slumped into the chair, looking miserable and depressed. Couldn't blame him, you know. How would anyone feel after blabbing about their lack-of-love-life problems to the twins?

"Now, now Oliver. The first step to recovery is admitting the truth," George attempted to console in what he thought was a soothing voice. Well, he thought wrong obviously, because Oliver blew up.

"You know, I just blurted my problems to you guys! How would you feel huh? How would feel if you just admitted that you are in love with your chaser for THREE years? Oh my god, she's just so pretty and smart and cute and sarcastic all at the same time! We know that this is just my whole imagination that will never be true!"

Something that resembled respectful silence passed between the three of them. Respectful? More like the Weasley twins plotting something.

"You know, ignoring your feelings for Katie won't help" Fred said helpfully.

"But it doesn't hurt either."

" Maybe you don't have OCD?"

" I do! I think about her ten hours a day! I know every detail about her!"

Fred and George raised their eyebrows. They just overheard Wood muttering something about her menstrual cycle and when she stop wearing diapers. Information overload.

Wood was now going on about how her hair was " thirty two and a half inches long".

Yes, he definitely has OCD.

"Er hemm!"

Oliver looked up and stop mumbling. Suddenly his eyes lighted up.

"Yes? You know how to cure my problems?"

" Well, if you mean the lying problem-"

"You can take lessons from me and George. But if you mean the OCD-"

"Then we can't help. Sorry Wood." George said apologetically.

Both Fred and George stared at Oliver sympathetically. At last, one brave Weasley dared to address their captain.

"You could tell her, you know. The truth I mean," said Fred.

"Tell her what? That I'm really infatuated with her? That I'm head over heels in love with her? Or that I am completely, utterly obsess about her?"

" Nothing ventured, nothing gain, mate!"

"Come on, Wood!"

Oliver stared at the pair who were both smiling widely at him. They were nuts. Nuts, they were.

"I am leaving you jokers."

Oliver stormed toward the door and yank the handle. He swung it open with all his might, and almost ran into the lovely, pretty Katie Bell.

He gulped what he knew would be his last air.

All his worst nightmare has just come true. Except the one where Flint wins the cup.

Katie looked at Oliver and he couldn't help but stare back. He was starting to obsess about how pretty she looked when suddenly she spoke.

" You know, the twins may not have a cure for your Obsessive-compulsive Disorder, But I have! The cure!"

"You do?" He asked, flustered.

"Yes."

"What is it? Give it to me!"

"This!"

Then without another moment of hesitation, she pressed her lips against his. All six foot of him went weak. Right then, Oliver could feel Katie smiled against his lips.

"I lied." She said finally."That was to make it worst. Because I want you head over heels in love with me."

She then ran away laughing, leaving Oliver stunned. He then ran after her, not able to wipe that silly grin off his face.

The twins looked out, only to see Katie and Oliver lying on the Quidditch field, tickling each other. Katie broke into frequent peals of laughter, while Oliver still had that goofy smile plastered on. Neither of them notice the evil identical smirks on the twin's faces. They didn't also hear Fred saying "No more dawn practices now that Oliver has got someone to handle his OCD."

Obsessuve-Compulsive Disorder. Something that Wood will never get rid off.

The End

So all Fan Fiction readers, what do you think? Hot? Not! Please please please Review!


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